BIG Brother has always been an elusive shadow, a man of few words.
But with his return to Australian television screens after a four-year absence saw him less elusive, more effusive, and, dare we say, more mellow.
He was funny, warm, and not as stern with his housemates.
After a spectacularly successful final show last week, the new, nicer, Big Brother agreed to an exclusive Q and A session with The Sunday Telegraph.
DS: Good afternoon Big Brother thanks for agreeing to an interview with us.
BB: The pleasure is Big Brother's.
DS: Did you sleep in this morning, after partying with the housemates last night?
BB: Big Brother never sleeps. He is ALWAYS watching and listening.
DS: Do you do many interviews, Big Brother?
BB: No. Big Brother is a man of few words.
DS: Are you single?
BB: Big Brother is happily married to Mrs Big Brother. We went through a rocky patch in the late 90s but we worked through it and are now stronger than ever.
DS: It's been great to have you back on our screens after four years. What did you do in that hiatus?
BB: On Mondays I have tennis lessons. Wednesday is golf. Thursday is bingo and $10 steaks at the local RSL.
DS: You were funnier and nicer this year than in past seasons. What happened?
BB: Big Brother has mellowed with age. Also this year's Housemates were very entertaining and amused Big Brother greatly.
DS: Was it hard for you to be less cranky?
BB: Like anyone, Big Brother has things that make him cranky. Drivers that don't indicate; people that walk slowly in front of him; and arriving home with a take away only to find an incomplete order. Big Brother still has his moody moments just ask Mrs Big Brother. However, when Housemates embrace their Big Brother experience, like they did in 2012, it makes Big Brother happy.
DS: Rumour has it that there may be more than one Big Brother, because sometimes your voice sounds different. Is this true?
BB: There is only ONE Big Brother. But like Santa Claus he needs some helpers.
DS: This year's housemates often tried to make you laugh when they spoke to you. Were there times you laughed out loud that we didn't see? If you are about to laugh, do you just stifle the laugh and say "Big Brother will get back to you''?
BB: Big Brother enjoys humour like everyone else and has been known to have the odd chuckle. Laughing is what Big Brother is all about.
DS: Were there times you wanted to tell Housemates to get over themselves and stop whining?
BB: Big Brother will always hear Housemates out no matter how painful their whinging becomes.
DS: What was your favourite challenge this year?
BB: Big Brother never lies so I had to invent a clever plan, and use Samoa, to convince the Housemates there was a second House. That was most enjoyable.
DS: When did you decide Surly (the talking puffer fish) would become part of the show?
BB: Big Brother had no idea that Surly was a talking fish until after he instructed the interior designer to put an aquarium in the House.
DS: What will happen to Surly now?
BB: Surly will be returned to the marine specialists that supplied him. I hear he has been flooded with offers from touring musical theatre groups, though, so who knows where he will turn up?
DS: Can you comment on rumours that Surly's voice is very similar to Big Brother Executive producers Alex Mavroidakis' voice, and that Surly has a very similar sense of humour?
BB: Alex is a muppet. End of of story.
DS: Is it true that there may have been three or four Surlys over the course of the show because a few of them ... ummm ... how do we put this delicately ... didn't survive?.
BB: It is true there was more than one Surly. Big Brother was advised to rotate them weekly by the experts. No Surlys died in the making of the show.
DS: Are you Team Surly or Team Delilah (the house dog)?
BB: Big Brother is team Big Brother and only will ever be team Big Brother.
DS: We saw the back of your head on the final show. It's the most we have ever seen of Big Brother? Will we ever see more? Perhaps a sexy magazine shoot?
BB: Big Brother will never reveal himself, but can absolutely assure you that he is smoulderingly handsome.
DS: What do you plan to do now?
BB: Big Brother is playing laser tag today. Tomorrow he will tidy his garage. After that the plotting for the next batch of Housemates begins.
DS: How old is Little Sister? Is she single?
BB:Little Sister is old enough to know better and is single because Big Brother scares her potential suitors away.
DS: During the "ignore the intruders week'', a ninja entered the kitchen, sculled a beer, then left. Can you unmask that Ninja and share how/he she trained for that?
BB: The Big Brother ninjas are schooled in Japan. They must complete a rigorous five-year training course before they earn the hallowed black suit and enter the compound.
DS: Housemate Layla said she would still like to chat with you after she left the house, and maybe give you advice for a change. Is there anything you need advice on?
BB: Big Brother recently purchased an iPhone 5 and is very frustrated with the battery life. Advice is welcomed from anyone.
DS: Will you catch up with any of the housemates now that they have left the house?
BB: Big Brother's duty of care to Housemates starts from the second they are selected and never ends. Once a Housemate enters the Big Brother House they are immediately a part of the Big Brother family and that continues after they are evicted.
DS: Have you scored an invite to Ben and Ben's wedding?
BB: If Big Brother isn't a guest of honour he will be most displeased.
DS: Can you dance Gangnam-style or do the Sonia Kruger-style shuffle?
BB: Big Brother is a great dancer. Nobody puts Big Brother in the corner.
DS: Have you got a few favourite moments from the season?
BB: Big Brother could not help but feel emotional when, after four years of an empty house, the very first Housemate, Michael, walked through the doors on night one. Benjamin's proposal also had Big Brother reaching for his big hankie. Bradley's first kiss with Estelle also made Big Brother laugh a lot.
DS: How old are you, Big Brother?
BB: Big Brother is old enough to be respected but young enough to be "down wit da youth''
DS: What's your mobile phone number? Who do you share it with?
BB: 1300 YO BIG BRO
DS: Will you be back in 2013?
BB: Big Brother WILL get back to you.